July 5, 2010

7:31 a.m.
The skies are pretty overcast and threatening. I take it a bad omen. Decide to go to the committee anyway, though being struck by lightning may be the best part of the day.
7:57 a.m.
Tom and I head to Dunn Brothers to prepare for our committees. Head is hurting already. This may be due more to the Lift Bridge Farm Girl Saison than the stress of the day. I fear that may change. Take 2 Advils.
7:58 a.m.
Woman in a lilac-colored quilted dashiki in line behind me at Dunn Bros. She is a 50-something short white woman with mousy hair. I’m sure that our African advisory delegates are honored by her sartorial show of solidarity.
8:49 a.m.
Settle into the seat for a never-ending parade of various special-interest-type observers advocating for their favorite causes. Many many people speak passionately about issues that once again, no one outside the denomination cares anything about. Intrigued by the man advocating that the Yankees trade A-Rod to the Pirates, but assumed he wandered over from the Sports Talk Convention down the street.
9:47 a.m.
One woman (whom I previously wanted to hit with ThunderStix) starts using the old “my friend commissioner, I respectively disagree with your opinion.” with all of the sincerity she could fake. I believe I saw venom running down her chin at some point. She later attempted to negate another “friend commissioner’s” motion because it endangered the overture she was avidly supporting. The ThunderStix are ready.
10:13 a.m.
Headache persists and I down 3 more Advils. Pretty certain I feel a rapidly growing hole in my stomach. Or I got hold of some bad yogurt.
10:33 a.m.
Headache is gone in time to enjoy a lengthy discussion on the finer points of translating a sixteenth century German language document to English and should it first be translated to modern German then to English or straight from ancient German and why we need to re-translate it in the first place. I ask the Special Committee on Translation if they know what “schwarzwalder kirschtorte” means, and if anyone has proofread the document for correct usage of umlauts. Found that Special Committees on Translations have little to no sense of humor.
10:49 a.m.
Discussion of the word “grabber” takes a lot longer than it should. I really wish that were a joke.
11:55 a.m.
Vote on retranslating the Heidelberg Catechism passes 51-4-0. I am 1 of the 4, but there may be a recount as the Russian judge has apparently bribed the French judge during the preliminary hearing.
1:36 p.m.
Process starts all over again with another committee explaining their work on the Belhar Confession and why we need to add it to the Book of Confessions. While I appreciated the enthusiasm of one of the members, I didn’t agree that we should add it because “it’s like, totally the most awesome confession EVER!”
2;20 p.m.
Parliamentary procedures become so bogged down with motions, amendments, amendments to amendments, and substitute motions that the Stated Clerk of GA is called in. He performs a series of highly entertaining ventriloquism routines with his dummies “Knoxy” and “Zwingli” which distracts the commissioners long enough that they forget the earlier motions and start over again.
4:57 p.m.
We have been debating the amendments for three hours and are not even close to the original overture. In small groups I state my opposition to the passage of this motion. Apparently without realizing I sprouted an extra appendage and my skin turned plaid. It can be the only reason for the blank stares of incredulity.
6:16 p.m.
My quick dinner of an enormous Chipotle burrito has fallen through the Advil-created hole in my stomach.
7:09 p.m.
Debate continues, aided now by the financial advisor to the GA, who has been picking up empty soda cans from the convention floor in order to supplement the per capita budget.
8:39 p.m.
Fully 41 of the committee have now asked for procedures to be clarified. I must have missed that part of the briefing that if we get a 2/3 majority of participants to ask an obvious question we get free ice cream AND sprinkles.
9:19 p.m.
I begin to chew my nails just for sustenance.
9:45 p.m.
Belhar passes 43-11. At least the "againsts" hit double digits on this one. We are awarded some lovely parting gifts, including Rice-a-Roni (the San Francisco treat) and a gift certificate to the Spiegel Catalog (Chicago 60609).
10:05 p.m.
Foregoing beer, enjoy a couple glasses of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey. I buy the entire bottle and place in my bag with the laptop. It won’t do much for the hole in my stomach, but at some point I am not going to care so much.

Other notes:
-Today was easily the most stressful, disappointing, and depressing day of the week, And its only Monday. I plan writing a more serious wrap up at the end of the week, so I’ll save my thoughts from today til then.
-I know that a Scots pub would be more appropriate, but I am enjoying “The Local” Irish pub.
-May try “Caribou Coffee” tomorrow for a change of pace. And if I can wake up after the whiskey. Which would no doubt be tasty in the coffee, too.
-Please never doubt that we have a wonderful church at Grace Presbyterian. We have issues here and there but we are SOOOOOO blessed in SOOOOOO many ways, Never take it for granted. Never cease prayers of thanksgiving.
-Please continue to pray for me, Mike, Tom, our fellow commissioners and delegates and the denomination. Prayer is desperately needed and desired.